How to Become a Popular Christian Blogger

by a less-than-popular Christian Blogger

1. Upload a picture of yourself drinking a cup of coffee.

2. Watch Stephen Colbert.

3. Make some sort of reference to Rachel Held Evans.

4. Talk about your past (naive) connections with cheesy Christian culture.

5. Come up with witty criticisms of cheesy Christian culture.

6. Occasionally offer an all-out-lament of cheesy Christian culture.

7. Make the jump from a semi-anonymous persona (which you probably kept up because you didn’t want to offend anyone you knew personally) to displaying your name and face unapologetically.

8. Talk about women.

9. Talk about Mark Driscoll.

10. Talk about women and Mark Driscoll.

11. Hint at, or make an entire blog based upon, the church’s complicated relationship with patriotism.

12. Speak authoritatively about the blogging process.

13. Make lists.

14. Make lists where you speak authoritatively about the blogging process.


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6 responses to “How to Become a Popular Christian Blogger

  1. Hahahahahaha, this is great (and very useful for a TV project I’m working on). I was researching Rachel Held Evans and stumbled across this. If I may I suggest an addendum – pine unironically for cheesy Christian culture. I saw Stryper a couple years ago and it was not only flippin’ awesome but theologically uplifting AND multi-generational.


  2. Pingback: How to Ruin Your Dating Life: A Christian’s Guide for Avoiding [Almost] Every Mistake in the Book | Elevate Christian Network·

  3. I think the only reason you would be less than pop
    ular is becase of the expression on your face while in the vicinity of a coffee from starbucks! (Very cute)


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