Jesus Denies Having Wife, Says Foreknowledge of Followers’ Sexual Repression Assured His Perpetual Bachelorhood

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In response to the verification of the ancient papyrus popularly dubbed Gospel of Jesus’ Wife, the Lord himself issued a statement denying that he ever married:

“I know that Dan Brown and a fourth century scribe have suggested that I tied the knot during my life on earth, but I want to say very clearly that the only knots I tied were in the stomachs of the religious establishment – no marriage for me.” Read more “Jesus Denies Having Wife, Says Foreknowledge of Followers’ Sexual Repression Assured His Perpetual Bachelorhood”

Mark Driscoll’s Publishing Tactics Trigger A Golden Age For Christian Publishing

First he published the book that inspired Christian sex everywhere, now Mark Dirscoll’s methods are inspiring what some have called “a golden age for Christian publishing… and for the Gospel.”

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It turns out that Read more “Mark Driscoll’s Publishing Tactics Trigger A Golden Age For Christian Publishing”

Vatican Discovers Pope Is Actually An “Everyday Variety Christian” Posing As Church Leader

The story has all the elements of a Dan Brown novel:  secret meetings, falsified information, and a magisterial cover-up  sure to shock faithful people around the globe.

It all started when Nathan Paduka, a mid-level Vatican Aide II, questioned the installment of Jorge Mario Bergoglio as Pope Francis back in March 2013 and was met with a semi-official gag order.

“At first nobody listened to me when I tried to warn them that Cardinal Bergoglio wasn’t really qualified for the papacy,” Paduka said, “but they’re sure listening now.” Read more “Vatican Discovers Pope Is Actually An “Everyday Variety Christian” Posing As Church Leader”

Christians Abandon The Gospel Coalition In Droves After Positive Breaking Bad Review, Citing Show’s Brief Nudity As “Unwholesome”

The Gospel Coalition, a once-bastion of all things conservative and Evangelical, is facing an image problem.  

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It all started when TGC published an article entitled “Badly Broken”, in which Chris McNerney and Daniel Lee review AMC’s show Breaking Bad. They offer a spiritual analyses of the show’s main character, Walter White, and his devolution from high school chemistry teacher to ruthless meth lord. Read more “Christians Abandon The Gospel Coalition In Droves After Positive Breaking Bad Review, Citing Show’s Brief Nudity As “Unwholesome””