Jesus Denies Having Wife, Says Foreknowledge of Followers’ Sexual Repression Assured His Perpetual Bachelorhood

jesus wife

In response to the verification of the ancient papyrus popularly dubbed Gospel of Jesus’ Wife, the Lord himself issued a statement denying that he ever married:

“I know that Dan Brown and a fourth century scribe have suggested that I tied the knot during my life on earth, but I want to say very clearly that the only knots I tied were in the stomachs of the religious establishment – no marriage for me.” Read more “Jesus Denies Having Wife, Says Foreknowledge of Followers’ Sexual Repression Assured His Perpetual Bachelorhood”

5 Ways Creationism Is Bad For Christianity

Sure creationism makes us look silly, but it does so much more than that.

I fancy myself a creationist in the sense that I believe God is the initial cause of the universe, but I am not a “creationist,” because I do not believe Genesis 1-3 reflects scientific history. You can read why here, here, here, and here.

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What If I Told You There Was No “Inn”

Joseph also went from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to the city of David called Bethlehem, because he was descended from the house and family of David. He went to be registered with Mary, to whom he was engaged and who was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for her to deliver her child. And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in bands of cloth, and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn.

Luke 2:4-7

Manger

It’s a tale as old as time:  pregnant couple travels home for the census, cannot find room at the inn when she’s ready to deliver the bun she’s been baking, stodgy innkeeper sends them out back to party in the barn. Cue baby Jesus, no-crying-he-makes (which is a fairly impressive feat for anyone spending the night among animals… much less an infant).  Read more “What If I Told You There Was No “Inn””

Come Down, Dear John. The “Strange Fire” Thing Isn’t Worth It.

You and I met in 2008.  I had watched you speak and read what you wrote for some time, I even received your scholarship. But in 2008 I graduated from your college with a B.A. in Bible and I got a chance to shake your hand as I walked across the stage.  I made a funny face as we posed for the camera, you murmured “oh brother” and chuckled jovially through your smile. Remember?

Anyway, this weekend you’ve been putting on a conference called Strange Fire, named after your book Strange Fire: The Danger of Offending the Holy Spirit With Counterfeit Worship. It reminds me of that book you put out in the early 90’s, Charismatic Chaos.

MacArthur Strange Fire Read more “Come Down, Dear John. The “Strange Fire” Thing Isn’t Worth It.”

3 Reasons Why We Don’t Study Kingdom-ology

“The kingdom of heaven is at hand.” – Jesus

“Thy kingdom come.”- Everyone Else

It was a decent question.

He had just reviewed 1st century Greek terms like pneuma and theos, then wondered aloud to the class, “if we have theology (study of God), pneumatology (study of the Spirit), and ecclesiology (study of the church), why don’t we have basilea-ology:  study of the Kingdom?” Read more “3 Reasons Why We Don’t Study Kingdom-ology”

Malala Yousafzai Is Great And All, But She Isn’t A Christian?

Malala Yousafzai at the Global Education First...
Malala Yousafzai (United Nations)

I just can’t do it.

I was going to write this satirically, but I will not.

I won’t write it because Malala Yousafzai’s remarkable story is filled with strength, hope, and love… the very characteristics of the God that us Christians worship… and too many of my brothers and sisters come armed with Hebrews 11:6. Read more “Malala Yousafzai Is Great And All, But She Isn’t A Christian?”